As cliche as it is, a white model S Plaid.
1: its got straight-line speed and a low center of balance so it can easily lose a cop in a big heavy Ford Explorer in the side streets. You don’t want to outrun the police on the highway, you’d never outrun the radio. But you can lose them with a series of turns creating an uncertainty on which way you went. The bonkers acceleration out of turns will help you get to the end of the block and turning the next corner before the cop finishes completing their first turn. By the time you go down a few streets, do a few turns, you’ll have left them in the dust.
2: should you need to go a bit off road, maybe cut across a raised median, it has an adjustable suspension that can give you a ground clearance comparable to smaller SUVs.
3: cavernous lift gate trunk, good for a sizeable haul. Plus frunk. And still room for 4 full grown accomplices.
4: Its anonymous. Any affluent neighborhood will have a white model S on every block. And if you opt for standard color calipers, no sport package or wheels, and debadge it, nobody would know you have the plaid or the standard model. They’ve looked mostly the same since they came out in 2012. An enthusiast can spot the nose cone on the early models but only a real keen observer could tell the difference between a 2017 model S 70d and a 2022 model S plaid.
5: Its silent. You’re flying out of turns, hitting 70mph in side streets, and nobody outside of direct line of sight would ever know.