Here Are the Dumbest Things You’ve Heard a Car Enthusiast Say

I know a guy who has a ‘90 Miata with a 4-gear auto box. He has said some… interesting things, here are some of them, but not limited to this at all:

“My automatic Miata handles better than your manual because it has a softer suspension”

“Can I find that blinker fluid at Autozone?”

“I always pop up my headlights before taking into a curve so it’ll help with braking, it’s something that aerodynamics can explain”

And the list goes on and on…

This person... doesn’t need to be driving.

Submitted by: Yuri

I was stuck in a Discount Tire one time and had to listen to some guy talk everyone’s ear off about his Gran Prix with the “LS4 Corvette engine”. This went on for almost an hour. He hadn’t even brought in a GXP - just a normal 3.8L GP.

Pontiac did have a V8, but it was in the GXP. On the other hand, a Grand Prix with an LS4 under the hood is actually not a bad idea.

Submitted by: Andy Rose via Facebook

I bought a new Ford Probe and took my cousin out for a ride. We hit the freeway so I punched the accelerator to reach freeway speed. My cousin said something along the lines of oh wow you hit the turbo didn’t you? I told him this card doesn’t have the turbo, he countered by saying that yes it does. What he heard was the transmission downshifting and the loud exhaust and I tried to explain to him that that wasn’t the turbo. We argued the rest of the way about whether or not the car had a turbo.

Arguing with someone in my car about something that literally doesn’t exist on said car? That cousin would have been taking the bus the rest of the way.

Submitted by: the_other_j_person

I was at a car show where there was a Knox from the early 1900s on display. A father and his daughter were looking at the car. He proceeded to tell his daughter “This is the first car ever made, a Ford Model T.” The little girl then asked her father “Why does it say ‘Knox’ on it?” Her father replied “Maybe it’s the owner’s name.”

A lot of fathers are known to get stuff like this wrong. Then, they get called out by their kids, who have likely noticed that something about their father’s information isn’t quite right. Dad then brushes their concerns aside so they won’t be proven wrong. The cycle continues.

Submitted by: Martin Pinnau via Facebook

I had someone in high school tell me the 2004 Ford Mustang came in an inline 6 and that I was an idiot for claiming it was a v6. He gaslit me so hard that I still occasionally check Google to be sure.

Being wrong and gaslighting someone just to prove that they are right is wild. But relax sir. The Mustang hasn’t come with an I6 in over 50 years.

Submitted by: Darkthefox

Him: Hey i’m looking at this turbo for my 08 WRX what do you think?

Me: well that turbo flows 40lb/min, and it won’t fit your 08 WRX turbo is configured different than STi.

Him: Oh okay, I don’t think my engine can handle 40psi anyway.

Submitted by: Axel Foley via Facebook

An encounter at an antique motorcycle show. Two middle-aged guys were asking about my bike, a Series C Vincent Rapide. They asked me how much horsepower it made. I answered that they made about 45 hp from the factory. They were disappointed because, they said, Brough Superiors made 200 hp. From one liter. In the 1930s. I didn’t ask whether they meant the ones with JAP engines or the Matchless-engined ones.

It would have been great if motorcycles were making this kind of power in the early 20th century. In fact, they didn’t reach 200 hp until the 21st century, and several have well surpassed that horsepower mark since.

Submitted by: Affenschmidt

People who argue the exclusivity of their _____ bc its one of 25,000 that had a color combo with tan interior with a ketchup stain on the passenger seat at the 7 o’clock position built on a Wednesday.

Look, it’s cool to have some rare build or color combo or whatever. But unless you have some type of plaque or certificate of authenticity or something, you may want to calm down. That Grabber Blue Mustang with gray interior isn’t that special.

Submitted by: Ed Ahn via Facebook

I was at a Buick-Oldsmobile-Pontiac-Cadillac car show in SC in the pre-covid days, so probably 2017-19 time frame.

There’s this guy, dressed like Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit (but probably 50 lbs heavier) standing next to his SatB Trans Am (complete with period correct Georgia-flag front tag) is doing his best to draw a crowd, and he is fuckin’ LOUD!

From several cars away I hear him exclaim to no one in particular “GM’s bringin’ Pontiac back next year, and their first car is gonna be the NEW Trans Am!” He continues to ramble off numbers and specs like “1000 HP” and “0-60 in two seconds flat” and “top speed over 200 mph!”

He’s showing his tablet to the 6-7 people standing around, so out of curiosity I wander over to take a look. On the screen is a Motor Trend article describing how a tuning company was putting body kits on Camaros to make them look like neo-Trans Ams.

I try to point out to the loudmouth that Pontiac is indeed dead and buried and no amount of wishful thinking is going to bring them back, especially considering that doing so would possibly open GM to BILLIONS of dollars of law suits.

The next words out of his mouth were “Well, Donald Trump’s gonna....”

My brain immediately shut down after hearing those words as an act of self preservation, so I didn’t hear the rest of that sentence.

You can’t fix stupid...

Imagine being so far down the rabbit hole that you think Donald Trump is going to revive a dead automotive brand that died a decade before.

Submitted by: The Old Man from Scene 24

I got an MR2 Spyder back when they first came out. A guy in a Boxster pulls up next to me at a light and says “Hey! Is that the new Boxster!?”

A Porsche owner thinking a lowly Toyota MR2 is a new version of a car they’re driving is borderline blasphemous.

Submitted by: Chris Zed via Facebook

I once had a car salesman tell me a Jetta’s stability control was able to slow down or speed up all four wheels.

Me: But it’s a fwd car.

Sales: Yeah?

Me: So how does it speed up the rear wheels? It can slow them down with the brakes, but it can’t apply power to them.

Sales: Oh... well that’s just what my manager said.

God speed, sales parrot.

If you want to hear some of the worst automotive info you’ll ever receive, head on down to any car dealership in the country. Product knowledge takes a way-back to sales.

Submitted: Maxzillian

Had a guy I worked with (at an auto parts store, no less) tell me 5 cylinder engines didn’t exist. When I told him my Volvo had a turbo 5cyl, he thought I was joking because my inline 6 had a misfire. I had to show him the coil packs to convince him that it did, indeed, have five cylinders, and that it wasn’t even exclusive to Volvos.

Working at an auto parts store with this kind of knowledge is wild. Makes you wonder how many people this guy gave bad advice to.

Submitted by: Brandon Brunch via Facebook

I recently went with my girlfriend to a family function of hers. One of her sisters had a new boyfriend over, he apparently manages a mechanic shop. Dude was a walking red flag. Looking down on the food because he would rather have a t-bone steak (the food was fine, but wasn’t fancy). Interupting and talking over everyone. Bragging about poker nights with $1000+ buy in—this in a room with a few teachers, retail workers, an a nanny (his gf), none of whom seem to care about poker at all.

Then he started talking about cars and my BS meter went off the charts. He was telling everyone about how Ford’s Ecoboost Engines were garbage and because of that you should never buy an Equinox. So...Ford engines having problems means don’t buy a Chevy.

I’m not a mechanic, but that was painfully wrong. There were others too, but that was the worst.

Being a mechanic and thinking that Chevy’s use Ford engines? This guy needs to find another profession.

Submitted by: Weirdisgood

I knew a guy that said the 3000GT was a “import piece of shit” while this guy’s Dodge Stealth was one of the best cars he ever owned. He was one those American Car only guys. When we tried to explain to him that they were sister cars, he legitimately got upset and denied that they shared anything at all.Staying on top of the maintenance of the vehicle is important. But doing that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll come out any cheap on repairs.

This guys must not have known that Diamond Star Motors was a long, fruitful relationship between an American company and a Japanese company.

Submitted by: D.J. Gibbon via Facebook

In the GR Corolla forums, one person in particular is convinced that only RWD and AWD cars can be performance cars while FWD cars are only just econoboxes.... Despite the fact that the new FL5 Civic Type R beat the GRC Morizo in Lightning Lap 2023 while the FL5 has a full interior, no weight reduction, AND a lesser tire compound. I also mentioned that the GRC is based on an FWD platform with a FWD based AWD system, and the weight distribution of a FWD car despite being AWD. He then proceeded to repeat his statement that only RWD and AWD cars can be sportscars. Talking to a wall.

FWD performance cars have been honed to a razor’s edge nowadays. The idea that they ‘can’t be sportscars’ is archaic and gatekeeping.

It sounds as if this guy is really trying to make the case that the GR Corolla is a superior performance vehicle because its all wheel drive.

Submitted by: mountainbikingandtrackdays

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